Thursday, July 8, 2010

The Roads Not Taken

Time flies. Two years passed. Achieve nothing and learn nothing. Life is wasted just like that. But I know is worth it. More Christ is added into me within these two years. Now I have made up my mind. Going to quit my research life soon. I can see no future in front of me. Now is time for me to take a short break and think of what to do next. Really puzzled, helpless and lost. Only the Lord knows how I feel and I can only depend on Him. What to do? Life still goes on. Few choices in front of me: Joining 2 years training, work in TM or explore myself into the world of education? Which way shall i take? the right one where there is nothing left, or the left one where there is nothing right? I dunno, really dunno. But the one I know is to take the way of 2 years training and it is definitely right! It is a living for the fulfillment of God's eternal purpose! I have the heart for the training, but need to consider many aspects. Now no source of income in the family, my brother has 2 more years to go before graduate... So maybe I need to work to support the family. Money is such a wicked thing but sometimes is just so lovely. How to proceed in my life? I prayed and prayed again to the Lord, so that He can open a way for me....Preserve my heart for the training, for the Lord, for God's eternal economy!

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Where is my future? What should I do now?

Never in my life I feel so helpless before. Why? The moment I stepped into MMU, I got a feeling my destiny will be like that. 2 years passed, but I still remain the same as 2 years before. No improvement, no interest, no knowledge and nothing. I wanna quit...dun wan to be a fool again in the lab, looked down and despised by my colleagues and supervisors. I wanna be whom I am. Is resign the best solution to all these problems? I guess probably is the right decision in my life. I prayed that everything is going be fine soon. Hopefully this will be a turn in my life. My dream, my ambition and my goal....can it be realized in the near future? I really dun know... Anyone has a better solution to this problem? I guess not. Anyone can offer me a better job? I think the answer should be yes. But I asked myself repeatedly, do I have to continue to work for others for the rest of my life? I dun wan to... Can I be my own boss, do the things I wan and gain the figure of income that I wan? I believe I can...just lack of opportunities....Panic, fears, helpless, hopeless, disappointment are those obstacles that stumbled me to success.... From today onwards, I wan to change my life, but before that, I need to change myself in the first place. Philip Leong, you can do it, strike for your own future!!!