Time flies. Two years passed. Achieve nothing and learn nothing. Life is wasted just like that. But I know is worth it. More Christ is added into me within these two years. Now I have made up my mind. Going to quit my research life soon. I can see no future in front of me. Now is time for me to take a short break and think of what to do next. Really puzzled, helpless and lost. Only the Lord knows how I feel and I can only depend on Him. What to do? Life still goes on. Few choices in front of me: Joining 2 years training, work in TM or explore myself into the world of education? Which way shall i take? the right one where there is nothing left, or the left one where there is nothing right? I dunno, really dunno. But the one I know is to take the way of 2 years training and it is definitely right! It is a living for the fulfillment of God's eternal purpose! I have the heart for the training, but need to consider many aspects. Now no source of income in the family, my brother has 2 more years to go before graduate... So maybe I need to work to support the family. Money is such a wicked thing but sometimes is just so lovely. How to proceed in my life? I prayed and prayed again to the Lord, so that He can open a way for me....Preserve my heart for the training, for the Lord, for God's eternal economy!
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Never in my life I feel so helpless before. Why? The moment I stepped into MMU, I got a feeling my destiny will be like that. 2 years passed, but I still remain the same as 2 years before. No improvement, no interest, no knowledge and nothing. I wanna quit...dun wan to be a fool again in the lab, looked down and despised by my colleagues and supervisors. I wanna be whom I am. Is resign the best solution to all these problems? I guess probably is the right decision in my life. I prayed that everything is going be fine soon. Hopefully this will be a turn in my life. My dream, my ambition and my goal....can it be realized in the near future? I really dun know... Anyone has a better solution to this problem? I guess not. Anyone can offer me a better job? I think the answer should be yes. But I asked myself repeatedly, do I have to continue to work for others for the rest of my life? I dun wan to... Can I be my own boss, do the things I wan and gain the figure of income that I wan? I believe I can...just lack of opportunities....Panic, fears, helpless, hopeless, disappointment are those obstacles that stumbled me to success.... From today onwards, I wan to change my life, but before that, I need to change myself in the first place. Philip Leong, you can do it, strike for your own future!!!
Monday, December 7, 2009
Last weekends, a family from singapore came to visit malacca. I have spent a wonderful saturday with this family. I am assigned as a tour guide to bring them to tour around malacca. We went to Madam King, to look for clothings as the sister wanna to get some shirts for the three months training in Sibu..Praise the Lord! What is her name already, erm,....lee yong she.....Bro Jimmy and his family indeed no interested in all the famous attraction here as they came to malacca b4....hence we went Parkson (MP) and the sister bought another shirt there...later we had our lunch at jonker street....asam laksa with durian cendol...yummy...later we went san shu gong to buy some biscuits and junk foods....also buy some soveniours and pineapple tarts before we leave....at night, Bro Jimmy bought us a dinner at xing's garden at bukit beruang, together with sis liew, Bro Harry, Singray, Hea Choon, Bro Wong from Ipoh....indeed the food was extremely delicious......On the Lord's day after Lord's table meeting, sis Liew brought the brothers to pc fair....it was a grand one and a great one..my brother worked part time there for 3 days...Bro Yan Herng and me bought hard disc with attractive price....External hard disc, western digital of 320GB, with a casing and a porch only RM219....and internal hard disc of 808GB only RM200..... no money already...this whole month will fast and eat maggie mee only....haha....
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Dearest sister Zhen Wen from the youth in malacca has joined the 1 month training in Miri. Her condition is not so good as she experience something extraordinary that she has never experienced before. These are the attacks from satan. She can't really cope well at the training center and finally falls sick. She had pain everywhere, her back, her neck and her hand. After seeing some doctors, she is found with twisted bone at the back which caused her backache. Hence, she needs immediate treatment. Poor thing, suffer a lot over there and crying wanna go back home. She is so stubborn that all the serving ones cannot do anything with her. We just can pray for her...nothing much we can do. Hope the Lord has mercy on her and strengthen her into her inner man. We also hope that she can recover soon and get into the training. Hope this training can have a change in her life. All we can do is just pray and pray again...hope she can get well soon and smile at everyone!
Just attended an on-jobbers perfecting training in Bahau last Saturday and Lord's day.. The meeting was an enjoyable one with few burdens from our brother Shen Xi. Firstly, we need to know the greatest mystery in the universe, that is Christ and the Church as the gospel of God and be proclaimers of the gospel to whole inhabited earth. So today we need to bear the responsibilities and burdens for the gospel and preach the gospel at our own localities. Secondly, we need to see the history of the church throughout the past 20 centuries as revealed in the book of Revelation, Lord's speaking to the seven churches. We also need to see the revelation of the great image as revealed in the book of Daniel concerning the history and administration of human's ruling on this earth. Hence, we need to see the divine history within the human history. This is the aspect of the church. May the Lord gain us and open our eyes to see the vision of the church. Thirdly, we need to become today's overcomers to overcome the present evil age and the degradation of the church. What is overcomer? Brother said, when people don't go for meeting you go; when people don't pray you pray; when people don't serve you serve. This is overcomer. We need to choose or want to be today's overcomers. Else, God will bypass us and raise up others to coordinate with Him in His economy. May the Lord had mercy on us. Make us overcomers, to turn the age and bring the Lord's back. Brother also used all the scriptures in Revelation chapter 1, 2 and 3 to reveal to us the condition of each of the church and the rewards to those who overcomes. So brothers and sisters, let's get ourselves prepared NOW and build up the Body of Christ, for His coming back. Amen, Hallelujah!
These few months my sickness is getting worse and worse, physically and psychologically... I can't stand the inner pleasure from my research work as I really feel helpless in this field. My dream cannot be realized just because I need to finish my contract with TM. I wanna join the two years training, I wanna be a teacher, I wanna venture myself into the business. .. but unfortunately, I am still here in MMU, doing something that I doesn't like. The lecturers never want to teach you, just ask u to read more books, colleagues doesn't offer any help as well...Some may look down on ppl...this is wat I don like.....everyday I scare to wake up in the morning...scare to go to the office, seeing everyone busy with their work, looks so professional and I do not know anything about the research...shame on you, Philip. In a nutshell, my physical body easily gets tired...heartbeats increasing, headache, gastric, no energy throughout the whole day, feel sleepy, pain everywhere...everyone says it is a sickness of laziness... how true is that I dunno... but I know I need medical check up soon....
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Countdown 1 hour and 45 minutes...monthly progress update meeting approaches again....well, every month i will have a nightmare as my progress in my research is relatively slow.... dunno when can finish my master and join the 2 years training? I can only depend on the Lord and pray to Him, " Lord, be my strength and everything in my life. Have more Grace and show your mercy to me.." Ganbatte, Philip!