Something gets very wrong!

These few months my sickness is getting worse and worse, physically and psychologically... I can't stand the inner pleasure from my research work as I really feel helpless in this field. My dream cannot be realized just because I need to finish my contract with TM. I wanna join the two years training, I wanna be a teacher, I wanna venture myself into the business. .. but unfortunately, I am still here in MMU, doing something that I doesn't like. The lecturers never want to teach you, just ask u to read more books, colleagues doesn't offer any help as well...Some may look down on ppl...this is wat I don like.....everyday I scare to wake up in the morning...scare to go to the office, seeing everyone busy with their work, looks so professional and I do not know anything about the research...shame on you, Philip. In a nutshell, my physical body easily gets tired...heartbeats increasing, headache, gastric, no energy throughout the whole day, feel sleepy, pain everywhere...everyone says it is a sickness of laziness... how true is that I dunno... but I know I need medical check up soon....